October 4, 2026 8:12pm

The summer has flown by and before I knew it fall is here. I think there is something a little sentimental about how we confessed our love and little secrets we were too afraid to say in person in that brief pocket of summer only to separate and leave for good in the fall.

I’m trying to be selfless for you. As much as I so dearly want to reach out and talk to you again I know that doing so might make you uncomfortable. You had trouble with others refusing to let go of you before and the last thing I want to do is remind you of what you had to go through in the past. I know letting go is hard enough as it is. In a sense writing this here-even though there’s a very good chance no one will see this- is better than writing in a journal. In this way, it still feels like I’m sending out something tangible- that even though the probability of you seeing this is next to impossible, there’s still a chance. A chance that has no way of falling back and hurting you.

So to whom it may concern, here’s this:

I miss you so much. I miss talking to you and seeing your name pop up on my phone. I miss talking to you in person and it hurts that I haven’t physically talked to you in a long time. Above all else, I miss you as a friend. A few weeks ago I had to go through something unimaginable and terrifying and the only person I wanted to contact and talk to was you. I never needed anyone more and yet I knew I couldn’t reach out. How could I? It was 11:00pm my time and 2:00am in yours. Despite everything I refrained because it felt dirty and wrong for me to use this as an excuse to reach out and talk to you.

And so time went on, and for the most part I’ve been steadfast in the pursuit of forgetting you and moving on. But then I’ll be stupid like tonight and read through our messages and remember how much you loved me. I know that logically your feelings can’t have changed in the span of a couple of months but I know that in time it will and for your happiness I sincerely hope it does. I just selfishly hope that at least month, this October, there’s still no one else in the world that matters more to you than me.